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Stick-Figures in Spaaaaaace 2
Stick-Figures in Spaaaaaace 2 is the sequel to Stick-Figures in Spaaaaaace. It ran for 14 days, from 31 July 2006 to 13 August 2006. The story begins where the previous installment left off, with Riff and Torg "space lost". Riff has generated a pie chart illustrating that, whatever direction they pick, they have a 75% chance of remaining space lost forever. Torg counters with the argument that the course Doctor McTraitor had programmed almost certainly leads to somewhere of note. He also demonstrates that the pie chart he is holding can spin; unfortunately, the disk he spins so wildly is also the steering wheel. The crew soon finds out about the dismal odds due to Riff and Torg's indiscreet conversation, and, following Captain Torg's callous planning for cannibalism, mutinies under the leadership of Lenny the pirate. Riff and Torg are thrown in the brig, where they meet Ensign Bandroid. Torg proposes that Bandroid challenge Lenny to a drinking contest to win back the ship. Since Bandroid lacks a plasti-liver and plasti-bladder, he falls after a single shot. Luckily, he falls on top of Lenny, crushing him and winning by default. Bandroid soon consolidates his reign as captain, making use of an impressive throne and declaring his reassumption of his birth name, 1-of-3. Furthermore, he reveals that his body contains a beacon allowing navigation to his homeworld, making the ship space lost no longer. Captain 1-of-3 also requires that Riff, Torg, and the women wear shirts. Torg is quite resistant to the idea, since he is assigned a red shirt; we witness several nameless red-shirted crew members slain by random gunfire as he flees. The ship reaches 1-of-3's homeworld and discovers it to be nothing more than a large cratered rock with two androids on it. The androids are introduced as 1-of-3's brothers, 2-of-3 and 2-of-3. The navigator observes that the android planet is located in "the Darkish Zone", and the ship is promptly contacted by the "horrific, especially brutal and remorseless Maraudites", led by Chief Kulsplat. 1-of-3, secure in the knowledge that he is inedible, invites the Maraudites aboard despite their clearly telegraphed anthropophagous intentions, but then changes his mind once Torg convinces him to protect his crew. However, this is a poorly timed flip-flop in that it does not occur until after the Maraudites have boarded the ship. Torg attempts to challenge the Maraudites to another drinking contest for mastery of the two vessels, but they refuse anything but a trial by combat. As 1-of-3 has fled from the Maraudites' illogic ("We crazy!"), Torg takes his place on a battle platform elevated above spikes, facing Kulsplat on a similar one. The Maraudites believe Kulsplat to be invincible, as there exists a prophecy about him that has not yet been fulfilled. Torg grants his red shirt to the Maraudite as a ceremonial gift, leading Kulsplat to be shot by the opening random gunfire and knocked onto the spikes below, where he fulfills the prophecy of his name by making a "Kulsplat" sound on impact. The Maraudites nevertheless refuse to hand their ship over to Torg, and instead leave under the command of Nohidjot. The story continues in *Stick-Figures in Spaaaaaace 3*.